there’s a line in twilight that goes “there was nothing more beautiful than Edward in his khakis and pale
beige pullover” and i think about that every day of my life
like stephanie meyer really did go “hmm. what’s the absolute sexiest garment i can think of. the most gorgeous clothes imaginable. how do i communicate how absolutely fucking fine edward looks at all times” and then 0.5 seconds later she went “oh, of course. khakis”
Its nice that we get to die someday. Imagine being immortal and suddenly you remember all the emberassing things you did in the last 2000 years. Horrible
Me, as a vampire: oh geez
Friend: What’s wrong
Me: Just remembered that time in 1654 when the tavern maid said “Enjoyeth thy meal!” I replied with “Thee as well”
“i am a monument to all your sins” is such a fucking raw line for a villain it’s amazing that it came from halo, a modernish video game, and not some classical text or mythos
classic texts have nothing on the crazy people come up with in modern times tbh
“I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.”
– Joshua Graham, Who Is A Fallout New Vegas NPC, Something Most People Throwing This Quote Around Don’t Realize
“If the world chooses to become my enemy, I will fight like I always have.”
– Shadow the Hedgehog in what is widely considered one of if not the single worst game in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise
Learn to speak spanish. Now learn to speak italian. Now subtract the spanish from italian. You are left with french.
Latin, but then make it fashion
Cover the second half of the word, squint, and pronounce only the vowels you think you see
You gotta pull your r’s from the bottom of your throat, think of a really revolting thing, and make an eghh sort of sound. If you don’t think you need a letter there, you probably do. And if you think you do, you don’t .
Hold a little phlegm in your mouth and sneer like you’re getting ready to spit on the poor
never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.
find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.
talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore
picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else
if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.
… 8|
That’s some pretty good advice. I don’t know what’s left of my humor after ‘guess I’ll just die’ jokes but it’s worth a shot.
Personally i went from “guess I’ll die” jokes to “IF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.” and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining
This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.
STOP making those jokes. Stop writing about how you’re trash or a disaster. It’s not funny, and it’s not helping you, it’s harming you. You’re not trash. Stop it already.
